2010 Parades

1. ANZAC DAY MARCH
In every capital city and countless country towns will hold a march on ANZAC day. Originally intended to commemorate the dead and celebrate the victory in World War 1 it is held on the day troops from the Australian and New Zealand stormed the beaches of Gallipoli. Despite the absence of any original ANZACZ in any marches they are unfortunately getting longer.

Firstly despite the fact that WWI was meant to be the war to end all wars we just keep going back in. Like a victim of domestic violence, we know it is wrong but an inexplicable force has a hold on us. Secondly families of now dead soldiers are now marching in their place. This would be fine if it was limited to one family member per soldier, instead we have every living relative walking the streets. The other problem with family members marching is what they are wearing. Current members of the armed forces should be in uniform, retired veterans should be able to wear whatever they want - a mankini if they so desire (they fought for the freedom of choice after all). Family members need a dress code; shirt and tie, at least shoes. Marchers should not be able to go back home and return to their latest DYI project without needing to change clothes.

Date
25 April
Location
Every city and town

2. CHRISTMAS PAGEANT, SA
This is the biggest parade of its type in the southern hemisphere. It commenced in 1933 and now boasts 63 floats, 15 bands, nine walking sets, 10 dance groups and 200 clowns. The parade route winds through the major roads in the CBD for 3.3km.

Of all the floats Nellie the Elephant is a crowd favourite, not because she is the brightest coloured or the loudest or has the most spectacular costumes it is because she is the oldest of the floats. She first started walking the pageant in 1950 and has not missed a pageant since. At the time she was bought she was the biggest mechanical elephant in the world. The pageant brings Father Christmas to town, he will then reside in the Magic Cave until Christmas Eve.

Web
www.cupageant.com.au
Date
13 November
Location
Adelaide CBD

3. MARDI GRAS, NSW
This parade is the most celebrated part of the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras festival. It is not for the prudish as costumes do not historically use a lot of material. It is colloquially known as a pride march and the participants use the event to show that they are just as proud of their bodies as they are of their sexuality.

It is recognised as one of the world’s best parades of this type and as such people will travel from all over the globe to both participate and spectate. The 2010 parade has the theme “History of the World” This is an opportunity to see what Joan of Ark would have looked like dressed all in leather or Neil Armstrong in a g-string. Of course you can expect a whole flotilla of cross dressing J. Edgar Hoovers.

Web
www.marigras.org.au
Date
27 February
Location
Oxford and Flinders Streets, Darlinghurst

4. GRAND FINAL PARADE, VIC
A small lunchtime parade is held in the Victorian capital in the build up to the AFL grand final. The players from both grand final teams, the umpires, the Coleman and Brownlow medallists and a handful of volunteers will make their way in the back of utes along the short parade route, which is along two city streets in Melbourne. To make it appear like a parade there will be a band or two and a handful of clowns or street performers.

It does mean football fanatics who have no greater pleasure than screaming adulation to their favourite players and abuse to the opposition can get close enough that the players might actually hear what is being said

Web
www.afl.com.au
Date
24 September
Location
St Kilda Road (becomes Swanston Street) and Collins Street, Melbourne

5. MELBOURNE CUP PARADE, VIC
This is much like the Grand Final Parade, just swap the teams for horses, the medallists with jockeys and the umpires with trainers. Don’t expect to see any horses due to race in the Melbourne Cup though - the equines on parade are past champions.

Even the route is much the same except travelling in the opposite direction

Web
www.vrc.net.au
Date
1 November
Location
Bourke and Swanston Streets Melbourne to Federation Square

6. TICKER-TAPE PARADE
Being a Winter Olympic and Commonwealth Games year 2010 is sure to see multiple ticker-tape parades in the capital cities around the country. The Winter Olympics are first and Australia is likely to win one or two medals; so what better way to celebrate the success of an athlete Australia has never heard of in a sport Australians do not understand than showering them with office recycling.

Of course the parade for the Winter Olympians is merely a rehearsal for the Commonwealth Games during which it will be more of a shock for an Australian athlete to not win a medal. Like junior school sports, everyone is a winner!

Start stock piling your used paper now and get down to the nearest office supplier while the sales are on to pick up a cheap shredder. As any coach or athlete will tell us preparation is the key to success.

Dates
Winter Olympics early March
Commonwealth Games late October
Location
Usually following a route to either the main shopping mall or the Town Hall in each capital city. The dates and routes of each parade will be published in the daily papers in each state in the days following the completion of each of the Games.

7. ST PATRICK’S DAY, QLD
In Australia, St Patrick’s Day has boiled down to wearing green clothing with silly Leprechaun-styled hats (all the better if the hat is attached to an even sillier wig) and eating food and beer that has been dyed green. Decorate the room with cardboard cut outs of shamrocks and the celebrations are complete. Not in Brisbane.

In Queensland they have a parade, which is sure to be full of people dressed in green clothing, wearing silly hats and carrying cardboard cut outs of shamrocks. The parade is designed to remind people of Australia’s connection with Ireland (and not just the bad jokes). Many Australian settlers were of Irish origins. However without the Leprechaun references it would just look like people in period costumes. A parade needs a little “Diddle-lee-dee” to make it Irish.

Web
www.st-patricks-day.com
Date
17 March
Location
Queensland Irish Club, Adelaide Street Brisbane to the Botanical Gardens

8. COW, WA
This is a parade with a difference. Normally it is the attractions that move past the spectators, this time it is the other way round.

The cow parade is a collection of cow statues painted and other decorated by over 70 artists. This international parade has previously taken up residency in 50 cities around the world including Manchester, Paris, New York and Tokyo. Be sure to pack the camera and a sense of fun. Unlike other art collections that are all placed in the same venue r exhibition space, the cows will be dotted around Western Australia’s premiere wine-growing region. Look out for them in pubs, wineries, restaurants and public spaces.

Web
www.margaretriver.com
Dates
1 March – 30 June
Location
Margaret River

9. AUSTRALIAN FASHION WEEK, NSW
This is the opportunity to see the best of Australia’s fashion designers. There will be more fashion parades than visitors will know what to do with. More outrageous and impractical clothing, more debates about the size and shape of the models, more A-list celebrities pretending they know something about fashion design and manufacturing and more B to D list celebrities pretending they are A-list celebrities.

In amongst all of the hype there will be fashion designs that will make it onto the racks and shelves of boutiques and clothing stores in the next season. The fashion parades are the buyers, stylists, agents and public to see what they will be wearing in the coming months

Web
www.rafw.com.au
Dates
3-7 May
Location
Circular Quay, Sydney

10. SUNSET PARADE, NT
This parade marks the opening of the Alice Desert Festival. Sunset Parade is definitely a family event with homemade floats and costumes of varying quality. The entertainment is made complete with local bands, choirs and dance groups.

Proving that this is truly a community parade, schools and special interest groups eagerly participate in this annual parade, which is described as the night “Alice lets her hair down”.

Web
www.alicedesertfestival.com.au
Date
10 September
Location
Council Lawn to Anzac Hill, Alice Springs