My grandmother describes cold weather movement similes; most frequently nippy or brisk. If that is the case then Austrian winters are like an Olympic sprinter. Gloves designed for Australian winters are only suitable for indoors when visiting the Continent. Australian beanies are no better.
It is so cold in Austrian winters, and as I will discover later on my journeys in other areas of Europe, that I would not be at all surprised if maternity wards at the end of each summer/beginning Autumns were closed.
The weather causes a lot of shrinkage, even inside thermals. Getting ready for a shower I scared myself when catching a glimpse of my mangina in the mirror. Most alarming was that I had not tucked anything between my legs! How a man stays “upright” in such chilled conditions is unimaginable – even having seen the beauty of their women?
It could be argued that sex is of course a great way to keep warm in such extreme conditions. Exercise and sharing body warmth are both proven ways of staving off the cold. Emperor Joseph proved this to be true siring eleven children.
Making this reproductive feat all the more impressive his wife was originally his cousin and she did not love him. Throughout the duration of their marriage his wife acquired her own apartment within the palace, earned her own income and spent her life travelling abroad leaving the Emperor to hear of her whereabouts through the press.
Despite his own intestinal marriage - traditionally the way of English royalty and Tasmanians the Austrian Empire expanded its territories through marriages not war. Maria Antionette, wife of Napolean was the favourite daughter of Joseph. Of course she did not enjoy the same favour in France where she was ultimately beheaded. This marriage did not acquire new land for Austria it did however prevent losing some land.
Other marriages expanded the Austrian borders into Hungary and Bulgaria and saw it gain favour with the British Empire. Whilst Joseph was busy earning the favours with the marriages of his children the Empress was gaining favour of her own, mainly with Bulgarian aristocracy and royals. The death of one Bulgarian prince reportedly caused her much personal grief. Now if only New Idea was in existence then to record the lurid details and saucy photographs of their affair.
The Austrian Imperial family, in its history also played a part in bringing down the Roman Empire, a marriage here a divorce there. Either way you know the Romans blamed it on the in-laws.
Mozart played for the Empress in her private suite, her court, within Schloss Schönbrunn. A grand palace which once housed over 1600 people with opulent interior design and extensive grounds including Europe’s first zoo and a guard tower from which one can see all of Vienna.
Mozart first performed to the royal court at the age of six. At the age of six I had not yet mastered the building of a Lego car good enough to show my own mother let alone compose and perform arias to royal houses.
Embarrassingly I injured my foot within the palace. The balls of the big and little toes on both feet, nothing specific just general soreness and tenderness. Just from walking around the palace and its grounds. Not even extreme power walking, more of a meandering wander. In the last four years I have trekked the Namibian desert and South African savannah and climbed the Inca trail in Peru. I do not own a car so travel everywhere within my home city on foot, all without incident. I spend a lazy afternoon strolling through a palace and am left lame for days.
