Fashion v Function

It seems that teenagers fail to understand the definition of UNDERwear . What started as a fashion of ensuring the waistband is on show has progressed to enduring the waistband AND legs hems are also on display. This fashion does not stop on the streets. Even on the slopes in the Swiss Alps this is an important fashion requirement.

Guys wear their ski pants down below their butt, while the girls wear the pants undone and rolled down to reveal the level of treatment they receive when visiting their local beautician. Despite the obvious protection the ski pants offer to areas of the human anatomy that can benefit from additional padding and warmth.

If I have learned anything from being a Seinfeld devotee it is that men suffer shrinkage in the cold. In a region of the world that it is common to go direct from the slopes to a nude spa and sauna this cannot be very flattering for the men. On the other hand it might explain why they get away with being naked in a sauna – everyone’s genitals appear to be innies, with no outies out to shock the locals!.

Consideration of colour when choosing your ski apparel is important regardless of age. For the under 50s it is important to get tops and bottom in exactly the same colour and/or pattern. For the over 50s is seems compulsory. If you are female and over 50 it is popular, if not unfortunate for most, to wear a onsie.

Safety headwear when skiing is surprisingly popular in a region of the world where the wearing of seatbelts when driving is merely a road safety suggestion and talking on the mobile phone whilst driving welcomed. I saw a guy cycling with no helmet, talking on his phone, smoking and eating a sandwich leaving him with minus one hand on the handlebars. Helmets on the snow though – everyone wears them.

When it comes to clothing, whether in the snow or no, it is never appropriate to dress identically to your partner! There, I’ve said it.

Headwear is not essential, especially if you have gent’s blow wave so big that it would make Barry Gibb jealous.

One of the favourite outfits I saw was a woman in a white body-hugging one-piece outfit with matching white belt, white goggles, white gloves and white scarf. Not bad for a woman clearly in her late 60s. The only colour she wore was bright orange lipstick and I think hat was just so her friends did not lose her in the white snow