Let sleeping dogs lie

I spent a week in Kyneton last Friday. A sleepy little town in country Victoria moves so slowly that I barely had to wake up from my hour nap aboard the V-Line train from Melbourne. Thankfully the person with the pricing gun also appears to have been asleep for about 20 years.

The whole town has applied the same pricing principles as the barman at any RSL across the country. One bakery sold chocolate brownies double the size and for half the price than I am used too. I think that makes it over all quarter the price?

The brownie was meant to be for the train ride home but…train driver might have been asleep at the wheel and was running more than 30 minutes late. When the stationmaster arose from his afternoon siesta he announced a 12 minute delay. We had to check if he meant 12 minutes in addition to the 20 minutes we had already been waiting.

Whist in town I stumble, quite literally, onto a funeral. Whilst it would be easy to say it was difficult who were the mourners and who was being permanently laid to rest, no matter how true it was. It was embarrassing to turn the corner whilst musing quite loudly about the meaning of the metal sculpture containing a lobster, an apple, a Murray cod and an oversized garden tap and nearly bump into the grieving family as they watched their loved one be loaded into a hearse.

My favourite part of Kyneton was the Botanical Gardens, I particularly liked the optimism of the plural ‘s’. It was only a single garden. By garden I mean it was a large patch of lawn with a tree in the middle and a couple of shrubs on the edge. On this basis I think my parents could rename their front yard, Royal Gardens. Royal because on the basis that it has multiple trees, shrubs and ground covers it is purely princely.

Aware that it is in Kyneton is part of Victoria it upholds the tradition of an excess of pubs and cafes. Despite that fact it is located in prime farming country its major industry is actually lemon slice with a soy latte. The only other business I saw was Toyworld Another blast from the past, Toyworld has not been seen in Australia’s cities for decades, just like Hey, Hey It’’ Saturday. Maybe it too will make an awkward return and overstay its welcome.

I would encourage the Mayor of Kyneton, at the end of daylight savings to not wind the town clock back an hour. IF this became an ongoing pattern each daylight savings then the town would creep back to the present on hour at a time.