2010 Parades

1. ANZAC DAY MARCH
In every capital city and countless country towns will hold a march on ANZAC day. Originally intended to commemorate the dead and celebrate the victory in World War 1 it is held on the day troops from the Australian and New Zealand stormed the beaches of Gallipoli. Despite the absence of any original ANZACZ in any marches they are unfortunately getting longer.

Firstly despite the fact that WWI was meant to be the war to end all wars we just keep going back in. Like a victim of domestic violence, we know it is wrong but an inexplicable force has a hold on us. Secondly families of now dead soldiers are now marching in their place. This would be fine if it was limited to one family member per soldier, instead we have every living relative walking the streets. The other problem with family members marching is what they are wearing. Current members of the armed forces should be in uniform, retired veterans should be able to wear whatever they want - a mankini if they so desire (they fought for the freedom of choice after all). Family members need a dress code; shirt and tie, at least shoes. Marchers should not be able to go back home and return to their latest DYI project without needing to change clothes.

Date
25 April
Location
Every city and town

2. CHRISTMAS PAGEANT, SA
This is the biggest parade of its type in the southern hemisphere. It commenced in 1933 and now boasts 63 floats, 15 bands, nine walking sets, 10 dance groups and 200 clowns. The parade route winds through the major roads in the CBD for 3.3km.

Of all the floats Nellie the Elephant is a crowd favourite, not because she is the brightest coloured or the loudest or has the most spectacular costumes it is because she is the oldest of the floats. She first started walking the pageant in 1950 and has not missed a pageant since. At the time she was bought she was the biggest mechanical elephant in the world. The pageant brings Father Christmas to town, he will then reside in the Magic Cave until Christmas Eve.

Web
www.cupageant.com.au
Date
13 November
Location
Adelaide CBD

3. MARDI GRAS, NSW
This parade is the most celebrated part of the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras festival. It is not for the prudish as costumes do not historically use a lot of material. It is colloquially known as a pride march and the participants use the event to show that they are just as proud of their bodies as they are of their sexuality.

It is recognised as one of the world’s best parades of this type and as such people will travel from all over the globe to both participate and spectate. The 2010 parade has the theme “History of the World” This is an opportunity to see what Joan of Ark would have looked like dressed all in leather or Neil Armstrong in a g-string. Of course you can expect a whole flotilla of cross dressing J. Edgar Hoovers.

Web
www.marigras.org.au
Date
27 February
Location
Oxford and Flinders Streets, Darlinghurst

4. GRAND FINAL PARADE, VIC
A small lunchtime parade is held in the Victorian capital in the build up to the AFL grand final. The players from both grand final teams, the umpires, the Coleman and Brownlow medallists and a handful of volunteers will make their way in the back of utes along the short parade route, which is along two city streets in Melbourne. To make it appear like a parade there will be a band or two and a handful of clowns or street performers.

It does mean football fanatics who have no greater pleasure than screaming adulation to their favourite players and abuse to the opposition can get close enough that the players might actually hear what is being said

Web
www.afl.com.au
Date
24 September
Location
St Kilda Road (becomes Swanston Street) and Collins Street, Melbourne

5. MELBOURNE CUP PARADE, VIC
This is much like the Grand Final Parade, just swap the teams for horses, the medallists with jockeys and the umpires with trainers. Don’t expect to see any horses due to race in the Melbourne Cup though - the equines on parade are past champions.

Even the route is much the same except travelling in the opposite direction

Web
www.vrc.net.au
Date
1 November
Location
Bourke and Swanston Streets Melbourne to Federation Square

6. TICKER-TAPE PARADE
Being a Winter Olympic and Commonwealth Games year 2010 is sure to see multiple ticker-tape parades in the capital cities around the country. The Winter Olympics are first and Australia is likely to win one or two medals; so what better way to celebrate the success of an athlete Australia has never heard of in a sport Australians do not understand than showering them with office recycling.

Of course the parade for the Winter Olympians is merely a rehearsal for the Commonwealth Games during which it will be more of a shock for an Australian athlete to not win a medal. Like junior school sports, everyone is a winner!

Start stock piling your used paper now and get down to the nearest office supplier while the sales are on to pick up a cheap shredder. As any coach or athlete will tell us preparation is the key to success.

Dates
Winter Olympics early March
Commonwealth Games late October
Location
Usually following a route to either the main shopping mall or the Town Hall in each capital city. The dates and routes of each parade will be published in the daily papers in each state in the days following the completion of each of the Games.

7. ST PATRICK’S DAY, QLD
In Australia, St Patrick’s Day has boiled down to wearing green clothing with silly Leprechaun-styled hats (all the better if the hat is attached to an even sillier wig) and eating food and beer that has been dyed green. Decorate the room with cardboard cut outs of shamrocks and the celebrations are complete. Not in Brisbane.

In Queensland they have a parade, which is sure to be full of people dressed in green clothing, wearing silly hats and carrying cardboard cut outs of shamrocks. The parade is designed to remind people of Australia’s connection with Ireland (and not just the bad jokes). Many Australian settlers were of Irish origins. However without the Leprechaun references it would just look like people in period costumes. A parade needs a little “Diddle-lee-dee” to make it Irish.

Web
www.st-patricks-day.com
Date
17 March
Location
Queensland Irish Club, Adelaide Street Brisbane to the Botanical Gardens

8. COW, WA
This is a parade with a difference. Normally it is the attractions that move past the spectators, this time it is the other way round.

The cow parade is a collection of cow statues painted and other decorated by over 70 artists. This international parade has previously taken up residency in 50 cities around the world including Manchester, Paris, New York and Tokyo. Be sure to pack the camera and a sense of fun. Unlike other art collections that are all placed in the same venue r exhibition space, the cows will be dotted around Western Australia’s premiere wine-growing region. Look out for them in pubs, wineries, restaurants and public spaces.

Web
www.margaretriver.com
Dates
1 March – 30 June
Location
Margaret River

9. AUSTRALIAN FASHION WEEK, NSW
This is the opportunity to see the best of Australia’s fashion designers. There will be more fashion parades than visitors will know what to do with. More outrageous and impractical clothing, more debates about the size and shape of the models, more A-list celebrities pretending they know something about fashion design and manufacturing and more B to D list celebrities pretending they are A-list celebrities.

In amongst all of the hype there will be fashion designs that will make it onto the racks and shelves of boutiques and clothing stores in the next season. The fashion parades are the buyers, stylists, agents and public to see what they will be wearing in the coming months

Web
www.rafw.com.au
Dates
3-7 May
Location
Circular Quay, Sydney

10. SUNSET PARADE, NT
This parade marks the opening of the Alice Desert Festival. Sunset Parade is definitely a family event with homemade floats and costumes of varying quality. The entertainment is made complete with local bands, choirs and dance groups.

Proving that this is truly a community parade, schools and special interest groups eagerly participate in this annual parade, which is described as the night “Alice lets her hair down”.

Web
www.alicedesertfestival.com.au
Date
10 September
Location
Council Lawn to Anzac Hill, Alice Springs

20ten Big

1. PINEAPPLE, QLD
There is so much more to the Big Pineapple than, well a pineapple that is big. There is an animal nursery and wildlife garden and tours of the plantation and macadamia forest. Visitors can even rife the Nutmobile (train) into the macadamia forest.

Of course there is a gift shop for all your pineapple related souvenirs, licensed dining and all the preserves, jams and homemade baked goods visitors could poke a stick at.

Web
www.bigpineapple.com.au
Cost
Entry Free
Plantation tour $16/$13/$11
Animal nursery $11.50/$9/$7.50
Nutmobile $9.50/$8/$7
Location
Nambour Connection Road Woonmbye, 1hr north of Brisbane on the Sunshine Coast

2. BANANA, NSW
Now 46 years old this banana is anything but rotten. Originally an attraction to encourage travellers to stop at a local roadside banana stall the Big Banana not sits at the entrance of a theme park, because Queensland needs another theme park.

Potentially lost amongst the waterslides, ice skating and toboggans is the banana theatre. Billed as a state of the art presentation of projections and. holographic like (not holographic – holographic like) images, the World of Bananas details the history and value of bananas. The value of bananas of course fluctuates from season to season and dramatically increases following a cyclone.

A new and slightly obscure addition to the Big Banana is the opening of Puppet People, which is a shop specialising in puppets. No real connection to bananas but who can resist a puppet?

Web
www.bigbanana.com.au
Costs
Big bunch $33/$27 Ice skating, waterslide, toboggan, banana theatre and tour
Blockbuster $16/$14 Toboggan, banana theatre and tour
Chill out $16/$14 Ice skating, banana theatre and tour
Cool runnings $16/$14 Toboggan and ice skating
Slip ‘n’ slide $22/$18 Waterslide and toboggan
Location
351 Pacific Highway, Coffs Harbour, 450km south of Brisbane

3. MERINO, NSW
Australia may joke about Tasmanians attraction to sheep, in a similar way that the English do about the Welsh, and yet it is Australia that so in love with the woolly beast that it has built the world’s biggest. Standing at 15.2m high it weighs 97tonnes and is in celebration of Australia’s history of economically riding on the sheep’s back (Making Australia settlers sound like some sort of perverted ovis pimp).

The Big Merino moved location in 2007 to place it closer to the expressway following road changes. Visitors to the Big Merino are invited inside (not as awkward as it sounds) to peruse the gift shop and on the second floor view the exhibit depicting the stages of wool production. The gift shop sells more than the tacky souvenir, it also stocks a wide range of wool products and clothing

Web
www.bigmerino.com.au
Cost
Free
Location
Cnr Hume Highway and Sowerby St, Goulburn

4. LOBSTER, SA
Marking the entrance to the visitor centre the lobster stands 17m high. Kingston SE, “Larry” the Lobster’s home is a coastal fishing town and also is the location of one of the best fish and chip shops in Australia. Visitors can pose for photos next to the big lobster and then eat its relatives for lunch at “Mac’s Takeaway”.

A café and hotel are also located in the precinct

Cost
Free
Location
Princess Highway, Kingston South East

5. ORANGE, SA
Located in the heart of Australia’s citrus region, visitors can climb inside this thick-skinned attraction (a pith poor joke, relax I was just taking the pip). At 15 meters in height this is the biggest of all of Australia’s big fruit.

Amongst its attractions is a panoramic viewing platform, a 360 degree mural, the compulsory gift/souvenir shop and\ café. Despite all of this “appeal” the Big Orange has had ongoing financial problems and regularly alternates from being open to the public to being closed. But that does not prevent the taking of a great Facebook photo. Berri is also where visitors can buy some of the best citrus fruit and products in the world.
Cost
Free
Location
Sturt Highway, Berri

6. CIGAR, VIC
What makes this novelty item such a novelty is that it is not memorialising an Australian icon. This politically incorrect erection is in honour of Sir Winston Churchill after whom the sculptures hometown is named.

If it could not get any weirder the original plan was to build five big cigars and locate them around the edge of the town centre. Alongside the base of the cigar is a plaque listing the names of the first families of the township. How long will it be until the Cancer Council erects a plaque showing a smoker with mouth cancer?

Cost
Free
Location
Tramway Road, Churchill, 160km north of Melbourne

7. ROCKING HORSE, SA
Like the lobster and banana, the rocking horse marks the entry to a commercial enterprise, in this case a wooden toy factory. Despite a fall in 1999 the public can still climb the horse to its viewing platforms some 18m up.

It is the world’s biggest rocking horse, though technically it does not rock, and has been voted as Australia’s best big thing. There is a wildlife park on site as well as a café and the toy factory where visitors can participate in a tour and of course buy all manner of hand and machine crafted wooden toys

Web
www.thetoyfactory.com.au
Entry
Free, including the wildlife park
Location
Adelaide Mannum Road, Gumeracha

8. GUITAR, NSW
Unlike other oversized string instruments around the country, this guitar actually works. It is the largest playable guitar in the world. It is in the visitors centre and ironically the main reason people visit this town. One may start to question that if there is not already enough points of interest in the region to attract visitors why build a visitors centre. At 6m in length visitors wanting to strum a tune or two are advised to bring a friend, to help with the cord changes.

Cost
Free
Location
Cnr Newell Highway and Cadell Street, Narrandera

9. CROCODILE, NT
I case crocodiles were not scary enough as one of the Australia’s deadliest animals the townsfolk of Humpty Doo have built a big one and given it boxing gloves! Keeping up tradition it marks the entrance to a shop, this time a Bush Shop and reptile park.

The retile park houses a good collection of Australian snakes and lizards including “Hoges” and “Strop” the pythons that starred in the Crocodile Dundee movies.

Costs
Reptile park entry $10/$5
Location
Arnhem Highway, Humpty Doo

10. STUBBY, NT
There can be nothing more Aussie than an oversized beer bottle. The town is not going to offer much more than drinking a couple of cold ones while viewing the big structure. It is a town with a population less than 20 and offers petrol and supplies (beer) to passers by. Inexplicably sitting next to the big stubby is a big pink panther, something that can only confuse people leaving the pub after a drinking session at the Larrimah Wayside Inn.

Cost
Free
Beer by the glass/can/bottle
Location
Stuart Highway, Larrimah

20ten Drive

1. GREAT OCEAN ROAD, VIC
Follow the Victorian coastline from Torquay to Allansford. The 243km road winds its way across cliff tops to beaches headlands and through forest areas. There are many opportunities for panoramic photos of the Southern Ocean and Bass Strait. It is a winding road so parents travelling with young children might be advised to bring a plastic bucket or ice cream container.

There are many beach-side towns to stop for a bite to eat, stretch the legs and empty the bucket. Make sure to stop at what is left of the Twelve Apostles, east of Port Campbell. They are limestone columns formed through erosion by the wind and waves. Following another column collapsing in September 2009 there are only seven Apostles remaining.

Between June and October southern right whales may also be seen off the coast of Warrnambool. Along the journey visitors might also see dolphins and seals. Visitors feeling more energetic may travel part of the distance on foot following the Great Beach Walk, a 91km stretch of beach between Apollo Bay and Glenample. Camping sites are available.

Web
www.greatoceanroad.org

2. NULLARBOR PLAN, SA-WA
Officially, the 1668km (1042mi) drive along the Eyre Highway goes from Port Augusta SA to Norseman WA (or vice versa). Having got to either of these towns visitors may soon realise they are still a long way from anywhere. There are roadhouses every 200km or so, therefore planning fuel purchases is critical.

Part of this journey includes the world’s longest stretch of straight road. Between Balladonia and Caiguna there is 146.6km of bituman without a turn. To break this journey up travellors stop to enjoy the spectacular views from atop the cliffs of the Great Australian Bight. During winter southern right whale cows can often be seen swimming with their calves.

3. BLUE MOUNTAINS, NSW
There are 18 mapped drives people can follow through the Blue Mountains varying in length and difficulty. It is also possible to do follow a 1200km (750mi) circular route of connecting roads, starting in the outer western Sydney suburb of Penrith.

The complete route roughly follows the boundaries of Nattai, Kanangari and Wollemi National Parks and takes visitors as far north and Muswellbrook and south to Goulburn. The main attraction is the environment itself, which will continually change throughout the drive. If rocks, trees waterways and wildlife are just not enough, the Blue Mountains also offer up numerous art galleries, cafes, markets and mines. Bushwalking and cycling is also popular in this area throughout the year, adding to the obstacles to avoid along the way.

Web
www.greatbluemountains.com.au

4. DAINTREE, QLD
Explore Australia’s favourite rainforest. The drive north of Mossman will take tourists to the coast across rivers, through sugarcane farmland and deep into the heat of the tropical forest. June to November is cane harvesting season so farm machinery and transport will also be on the roads.

Pack the rod and tackle as the drive includes great opportunity for recreational fishing. The beaches are also particularly inviting for a lazy swim. Fresh tropical fruit is also in abundance all year round. For nature lovers the Daintree offers many opportunities to watch some of the most unique fauna in the world doing whatever it is they do. It is going to be warm to hot all year round with relatively high humidity.

Make the most of the region by spending a few days exploring the towns and joining a local tour or one of the numerous cruises along the waterways and estuaries.

Web
www.daintreevillage.asn.au

5. FLINDERS RANGES, SA
The complete round trip is approximately 1000km (625mi) from Adelaide to as far north as Blinman. This drive is accessible by all cars though a 4WD will be easier and a lot more fun with a number of off-road tracks dotted throughout the region.

This drive will take visitors to some of South Australia’s most historic towns and important Indigenous sites. In spring, after winter rains, visitors will also see some of Australia’s rarest wild flowers. When you get to Wilpena Pound it is worth taking a scenic flight to get the best view of the valleys, gorges and the natural amphitheatre. To make the most of this drive visitors are encouraged to get out of the car and walk even just for a few minutes into the scrub, forests or desert – depending on where you are.

Highlights will include mining at Leigh Creek and Burra, Pichie Richie Railway (Quorn), Mount Remarkable and Arkaroola Wilderness Sanctuary. Visitors should make sure they have adequate water, sun protection and personal insect repellent.

Web
www.southaustralia.com.au/FlindersRangesDrive

6. WILSONS PROMONTORY, VIC
This 213km (133mi) drive south east of Melbourne will take visitors to the southern most point of the Australian mainland. The wind off Bass Strait make this area perfect for kite flying, it also means it is worth packing a jacket.

Take time exploring the many walking tracks through Wilsons Promontory National Park exploring the beaches, swamps, fern gullies and eucalyptus forests. Take the camera to Mount Vereker Lookout for the picture postcard photos. Walk along Squeaky Beach as much for the sound as the view. The white quartz crystal sand makes a unique squeaking sound underfoot.

Web
http://www.parkweb.vic.gov.au/1park_display.cfm?park=217

7. TASMANIA
The road network of Tasmania enables drivers to drive around the entire island. The drive around the complete triangle is approximately 1250km (781mi). It is possible to get around the island on sealed roads that will take visitors to a range of diverse environments. Tasmania is however better explored with a 4WD.

Tasmania is not the place for a driver’s first road trip as the roads can be steep and winding, during the winter moths they can also be icy. It is also common to encounter wildlife that do not understand the concept of giving way and logging trucks that – even following the road rules – create quite a challenge on some of the narrow mountain roads.

The ruggedness of the wild west coast is definitely one of the highlights. The island abounds with unique wildlife ancient forests and some of Australia’s most historic architecture with many structures having been hand built by convicts.

Web
www.discovertasmania.com/travel_information/car_hire/self-drive

8. BINNS WAY, NT
No need to clean the 4WD before this tour, it is guaranteed to be covered in red dust from the Australian outback by the end of the trip. So is everything else you take with you for that matter! Starting at Mount Dare near the South Australian border this drive will take travellers 2191km north to Timber Creek.

Despite the first appearances of a somewhat desolate landscape it is recommended that travellers take at least 10 days to see and do everything central Australia has to offer. Passing through Alice Springs, the track includes the western edge of the Simpson Desert - Australia’s biggest, N’Dhala Gorge which has over 6000 indigenous rock paintings, unused mines, waterholes, rivers (with and without water) and caves

One geological highlight of this track is the Devil’s marbles about halfway through the journey. This rock formation will inspire everyone’s inner photographer.

Binns track is for the experienced 4W driver and can be dangerous. Thorough planning is required before embarking of this drive for mechanical and medical emergencies and adequate provisions.

Web
http://en.travelnt.com/experience/driving/binns-track.aspx

9. MONKEY MIA, WA
Located 861km (538mi) north of Perth it could be argued that as good as the drive is, this journey is all about the destination. Monkey Mia’s is most famous for its dolphin population that enjoy swimming with the locals and tourists. Jump on a catamaran to venture out to deeper water to look for dugong, sea snakes and other marine life.

Along the way stop at Geraldton to explore the Pinnacles, unique limestone rock formations up to 5m high sticking out of the sand of the Pinnacles Desert. This is another opportunity to observe some of Australia’s wildlife; bush wallaby, honey possum and various reptiles and birds.

Web
www.wavisitorcentre.com

10. ROUNDOZ- MOTORBIKE
Have you got a motorcycle licence and a couple of months spare? Then why not ride around Australia. Planned itineraries are available to ensure riders get to see all of the natural and built highlights Australia has to offer.
It is a long ride and needs to be thoroughly planned, Australia is big and there can be long distances between facilities. There will be many nights of camping on the side of the road (a safe distance from the bitumen of course) Riders must be experienced on their bike and being self sufficient. A basic knowledge of mechanics would also be an advantage as it can be a long walk to the nearest service station.

Web
www.bikeroundoz.com

20ten Trains

1. INDIAN PACIFIC
The Indian Pacific traverses Australia east-west. It goes Sydney-Adelaide-Perth (or vice versa) making it one of the world’s longest train journeys. It takes three nights during which time passengers will get to experience some of the best of Australia’s natural environment including the Blue Mountains and Nullarbor Plain. Just like the drive, the Nullarbor stretch of this journey makes up the longest straight section of railway in the world.

Although this line also passes through some Australia’s most famous country towns, the downside of train travel is that passengers do not get time to explore.

Web
http://www.gsr.com.au/our-trains/indian-pacific/the-journey.php
Cost
Sydney to Perth
Gold Service $1514/$1022 (includes meals)
Sleeper $1036/$689/$628
Day/Night Seat $458/$231/$211
Departs
Sydney Saturday and Wednesday
Perth Wednesday and Sunday

2. THE GHAN
Now in its 81st ear the Ghan is an Australian icon. For the first 70 years of service it travelled from Adelaide to Alice Springs until the extension through to Darwin was opened in 2004. This means it is now also possible to travel the country north-south.

It is a two-night journey through the heart of the continent. The Ghan gets its name from the Afghan Express which was the nickname given to the Afghan camel train that trekked the same route prior to the construction of the railway.

The Ghan connects with the Indian Pacific and The Overland

Web
http://www.gsr.com.au/our-trains/the-ghan/the-journey.php
Cost
Adelaide to Darwin
Gold Service $1973/$1357 (includes meals)
Sleeper $1312/$877/$800
Day/Night Seat $716/$363/$331
Departs
Adelaide Sunday and Wednesday
Darwin Wednesday and Saturday

3. THE OVERLAND
The Overland travels between Adelaide and Melbourne. This is considered to be the first interstate rail service in Australia. Like The Ghan, this train gets its name from the route travelled by Australian pioneers. The Overlanders travelled on horseback between the two southern cities.

This is a one-day journey, leaving at breakfast in one city and arriving in time for dinner at the other. Travelling the route six days a week, the train alternates direction every day. This provides passengers the perfect opportunity to disembark and explore a town enroute before reboarding two days later to complete their journey.

Web
http://www.gsr.com.au/our-trains/the-overland/the-journey.php
Cost
Adelaide to Melbourne
Red Premium $134/$95 (much more spacious seating)
Red $90/$49/$45
Departs
Adelaide Monday, Wednesday and Friday
Melbourne Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday

4. THE SOUTHERN SPIRIT
This service offers two different holiday experiences, The Grand Tour and The Costal Epic.

The Grand Tour is just as its name implies. It starts at Alice Springs in the heart of the Australian outback and includes stops where there is time to disembark and explore, experiencing the sights and sounds of some of Australia’s tourist icons. Explore Uluru, Coober Pedy (opal mining), Kangaroo Island, Glenrowan (home of Ned Kelly), Melbourne and Sydney before reaching the final destination of Brisbane.

This is a set 14 day/13 night tour departing Alice Springs.

The Costal Epic, in many ways the reverse journey of The Grand Tour. The point of difference being the detailed time spent in locations along Australia’s east coast in particular Coffs Harbour and the Blue Mountains.

This is a set 14 day/13 night tour departing Brisbane.

On both journeys all meals are included and both Platinum and Gold classes are sleeper cabins. Platinum is more luxurious and comes with the perks one would expect from first class travel.

Web
www.thesouthernspirit.com.au
Costs
Platinum $13,990/person twin share
Gold $10/590/person twin share
Departing
Next departure dates
The Grand Tour 9 January
The Coastal Epic 24 January

5. PICHI RICHI RAILWAY
The Pichi Richi railway opened in 1879 and was the first stage of what would become the Ghan route. A few different rail experiences are offered. The Pichi Richi Express runs between Quorn to Woolshed Flat, in South Australia’s Flinders Ranges; Steam or Diesel. The 32km return journey takes approximately 2.5hours.

The steam service operates on long weekends and during school holidays. It uses timber-bodied carriages built and first used over 100 years ago. Diesel was introduced to South Australian country lines in 1928 and operated for 40 years. Pichi Richi’s diesel service only operates on Sundays.

A dinner train also operates on the Pichi Richi line twice a year. The Afghan Express also operates year round between Port Augusta and Quorn. The 78km journey takes 6 hours return, stopping for approximately 2hours in Quorn for lunch. This service again uses historic timber-bodied carriages.

Web
www.prr.org.au
Costs
Afghan Express $75/$70/$25
Dinner Train $110/$105/$45
Explorer $44/$41/$15
Departs
Full time tables available of on the website
Explorer and Dinner Train Depart Quorn
Afghan Express departs Port Augusta

6. STEAM RANGER
People ask why you would ever visit South Australia, well if you are a train enthusiast then clearly it is the place to be. Steam Ranger operates a couple of services.

The Cockle Train operates between Goolwa and Victor Harbor on the oldest steel railed railway in Australia. The train operates along some of South Australia’s most beautiful coastline stopping in Middleton and Pt Elliot. Service times vary throughout the year, with more services operating during peak periods.

Southern Encounter only operates from June to November travelling from Mt Barker, in the Mt Lofty Ranges, to Victor Harbor. The Prince and Princess of Wales once rode this train during a State Visit to South Australia. The carriage they rode in is not anymore opulent that the others. It does however have a sign indicating where they sat. The return trip, including the 3hour stop over in Victor Harbor will take about 8hours.

Web
www.steamranger.org,au
Costs
Cockle Train $15/$9/$7 return
Southern Encounter $64/$55/$35 return
Departs
Cockle Train Goolwa
Southern Encounter Mt Barker

7. MONORAIL
Despite the predominance of South Australia as a train destination other states have some rail experiences worth exploring. Sydney has the Monorail. Travelling above Sydney’s traffic the monorail takes passengers to some of the cities great tourist attractions; Chinatown, George Street and the Aquarium at Darling Park.

It is a fast cheap and relatively convenient way of getting around the harbour city. Operating above the city streets there is always a bit of going up and down stairs or elevators to get to the stations that can become tiresome by the end of the day.
Web
http://www.metrotransport.com.au/index.php/monorail/monorail-home.html
Costs
Single Trip $4.80
Day Pass $9.50
Combination tickets with the Light Rail are also available.
Departs
Eight stations around the city loop with trains departing every 3-5 minutes

8. SOUTH GIPPSLAND TOURIST RAILWAY
Another tourist railway line, another historical train experience and another view of the Australian countryside. This diesel service operates along 36km of track between Leongatha and Nyora in Victoria’s Gippsland.

One point of difference with this service is the opportunity for train enthusiasts to actually drive the train. The “Dream Come True” program. The experience includes basic railway education and training lunch and then the main event. Family and friends are encouraged to join drivers on their maiden voyage.

This railway also offers a Murder Mystery package includes BBQ dinner, finger food, the train journey and the mystery. Passengers are encouraged to dress in character with prizes for best dressed ad also for solving the mystery.

Web
www.sgr.org.au
Costs
Tourist Railway $24/$15 return
Dream Come True from $440
Murder Mystery $40
Departs
Tourist Railway Leongatha or Nyora, public holidays and Wednesdays during school holidays
Murder Mystery Korumburra Station
Dream Come True Korumburra Station

9. TILT TRAIN
It is time to pick up the pace in the world of Australian trains. The Tit Train in Queensland is Australia’s fastest rail service. It operates between Brisbane and Cairns. This electric train reaches speeds of up to 160kph (100mph). This is a modern train with personal entertainment screens and connections for laptops.

The 1681km journey takes 24 hours. There are numerous stops along the way for passengers wanting to see other towns along Australia’s northern coastline.

Web
http://www.railaustralia.com.au/tiltTrain.php
Costs
Brisbane/Cairns $310.20/$248.16
Departs
Brisbane Monday and Fridays
Cairns Sunday and Wednesdays

10. HOTHAM VALLEY TOURIST RAILWAY
I can hear the chuff-chuff-chuff of yet another historic Australian railway. This railway offers two services; Pinjarra to Dwellingup and Dwellingup to Etmilyn.

The Etmilyn route takes you into local forests receiving commentary about the saw milling history along the way. The journey includes a short walk into the forest to see (seasonal) wildflowers and the majestic Jarrah Forest.

The Pinjarra line once served the local timber industry. This steam train runs along one of the last light rail development lines in the country. The return journey allows time for a pleasant picnic lunch for families or the romantic day trip albeit that young families and romantic couples do not necessarily compliment each other or a days train journey.

A restaurant train is also offered with both a 1919 vintage dining car and a 1884 club car experience available. The five-course roast dinner is served while the train rattles through the forest, which is lit from the train. A connecting coach is available from Perth.

Web
www.hothamvalleyrailway.com.au
Cost
Etmilyn $18/$9/$2.50
Pinjarra $38/$19/$2.50
Restaurant Train $70 + $16.50 for the coach connection
Departs
Etmilyn Forest 11am and 2pm on weekends and selected days during school holidays
Pinjarra 10.30am Sundays and Wednesdays from May to October
Restaurant Train 6pm from Perth, Saturday nights, returning approximately 12.15am

20ten Killers

Australia is known for having killer wildlife. That is not the “these animals are awesome, they’re killer” type of killer. If not treated with care and respect they can actually kill you. Steve Irwin made a career of showing Australia’s unique and deadly wildlife to the world and unfortunately also proved just how deadly they can be.

These species can be safely observed in zoos and conservation parks around the country, but they also live in the wild. Australia’s animals come in a wide range of shades of brown to camouflage into the environment of the driest continent on earth. While the old adage might be true that the animals really are more scared of you than you are of them, they often find attack to be the best form of defence.

Here are 10 of the deadliest.

1. THE BOX JELLYFISH
The box jellyfish is one of the deadliest animals on the world. The stings are extremely painful and often fatal. If stung vinegar is the best treatment before removing the stings with a towel. If stung definitely seek medical advice. This creature does not attack humans, the sting occurs by merely coming in contact with its tentacles which can be up to 3m long. Just to make things more interesting it is almost transparent.

They are found in the northern oceans of Australia, particularly in Queensland and Northern Territory. They are most numerous between October and April.

2. SALTWATER CROCODILE
The largest of all reptiles, the saltwater crocodile is often described as being a living dinosaur. They can grow up to 5.5m (18’) in length. The power of the jaw is in its closing, exerts a force of up to 5000psi. It may appear sleepy and lazy but can move remarkably quickly. In the water they can move with such stealth that they can be barely detectable. They are also able to launch themselves from the water to catch prey on the beach. Its most famous killing move is the “deathroll” where, with prey securely in its jaws, it rolls over repeatedly until the prey drowns. A protected Australian species found across northern Ausralia.

3. BLUE RING OCTOPUS
The luminescent blue rings are extremely attractive, but don’t be fooled, they are a mechanism to show that it is angry. It is an small octopus and there is currently no known antidote to its venom. Its poison can cause paralysis, which can lead to cardiac arrest. If stung apply pressure, a victim may also require assistance breathing, sometimes for hours.

The blue ring octopus is most commonly found in the southern waters of Australia.

4. STONEFISH
It is a fish that looks like a stone! It is also the deadliest fish in the world. It lives on the bottom of reefs in the shallow waters around northern Australia and blends in with the other rooks on the reef. Stings normally occur when someone accidentally steps one or more of the poisonous spines that cover its dorsal area. A sting will cause shock, paralysis and death of the affected soft tissue. If stung immobilise the affected area and apply pressure. The affects of the sting may require the affected limb to be amputated. People are encouraged to wear footwear when snorkelling and exploring rock pools in stonefish habitats.

5. RED BACK SPIDER
The Australian folk song says that although one may not see the red back on the toilet seat at night you will sure feel it bite. The female spider is black with a striking red stripe on its back. The male is a browner colour with a white/grey stripe, much smaller and not harmful to humans. They are found all over the country often in dark corners. Although its bite can result in death, this is rare, in fact only approximately 20% of victims even require medical treatment. The bite can be extremely painful.

6. BROWN SNAKE
There are many types of brown snakes, they are typically a large snake (1.5 to 2m) and brown. The back often has a lighter brown stripe bordered by dark brown spots. They are found all over the country and not just in the bush. To keep everyone on their toes brown snakes also live in wetlands, grasslands and forests. Every year there are examples of them being found in the backyard shed or under the house or in a kitchen cupboard. The venom kills quickly if not treated. The venom of a young snake is reportedly even more deadly than an adult snake.

7. TIGER SNAKE
This snake is found in southern Australia including Tasmania. It prefers to live close to water and is therefore found in coastal environments, wetlands and along creeks and rivers. It gets its name from the distinct stripes on its back. The tiger snake can grow up to 2m in length. Although it has one of the deadliest bites (approximately 45% of untreated bites result in death) there is antivenom available. The venom will cause respiratory problems and paralysis.

Despite its deadly reputation, it is a protected species in most states and large fines apply for harming or injuring this snake.

8. GREAT WHITE SHARK
As deadly as the putter on Greg Norma’s chances of winning a major, the multiple rows of teeth of the world’s largest predatory fish make short work of it prey. Found in the waters off the southern coasts of Australia, it can grow up to 6m in length. This shark is also known as the White Pointer

20ten Shows

Although the organisers of each Show might argue to the contrary, one could hypothesise that they are all the same, seen one-seen them all. Sideshows, rides, show-bags, fatty or sugary foods, the range of overpriced items on which a visitor can spend copious amounts of money are endless.

Royal Shows are so much more than the amusements. Name a farm animal are there is sure to be a best-of-breed competition, there are also competitions for primary producers and growers as well as cooking and handicrafts. My favourite as a child was always the preserved fruit mainly because I could not understand the art of placing old boiled fruit in a jar (and I still don’t) maybe it has something to do with the cloth doily used to cover the lid.

Corporate displays, once limited to farm machinery, chemicals and technology now has no bounds. If you are planning a major purchase for the car, home or holiday you may just find a “Show-special” bargain.

Each year there will be a “cool” novelty item – a must buy item for every visitor under the age of 30 whether it be a Dr Seuss style hat, an invisible dog or an inflatable, oversized hammer you can be sure it will be banished to the back room within minutes of returning home. And so it should.

10 SHOWS IN 2010

ACTEWAGL Royal Canberra Show
www.rncas.org.au/showwebsite
26-28 February
Exhibition Park, Flemington Road Mitchell

Albury Show
www.alburyshow.com.au
29-31 October
Showground, Mate Street Albury

Kalgoorlie Boulder Community Fair
www.kalgoorlie-boulderfair.asn.au
19-20 March
Cruishank Sports Arena, Federal Road Boulder

Perth Royal Show
www.perthroyalshow.com.au
25 September – 2 october
Claremont Showgrounds, Graylands Road Claremont

Royal Adelaide Show
www.theshow.com.au
3-10 September
Adelaide Showground, Goodwood Road Wayville.

Royal Darwin Show
www.darwinshow.com.au
22-24 July (TBC)
Darwin Showgrounds and Exhibition Centre, Sturt Highway Winnellie

Royal Hobart Show
www.hobartshowground.com.au/show
21-24 October
Royal Hobart Show Ground, 2 Howard Road, Glenorchy

Royal Melbourne Show
www.royalshow.com.au
18-28 September
Royal Melbourne Show Grounds, Epsom Road Ascot Vale

Royal Queensland Show: Ekka
www.ekka.com.au
5-14 August
RNA Showgrounds, 600 Gregory Terrace Bowen Hills

Sydney Royal East Show
www.eastershow.com.au
1-14 April
Sydney Showground, Olympic Boulevard Sydney Olympic Park

20ten Sites

1. PORT ARTHUR, TAS
Australia was colonised by convict settlements and Port Arthur is the most infamous of the convict prisons. The site was a penal prison in 1830 with working flour mill and canary expanding into the fully prison site of which the ruins remain today. It closed in 1877.

There are many ways of experiencing Port Arthur; self guided tour, guided tour ghost tours. There is also cruises and dining options available. One highlight is the Isle of the Dead Cemetery Tour, the site of over 1000 convict burials.

Port Arthur’s notorious history unfortunately continued in 1996, when Martin Bryant went on a crazed shooting spree on the site. At the end of his rampage 35 people were killed, 21 were injured and countless others left with emotional scarring. A Memorial Garden offers visitors the chance to pay the respects to the victims of Australia’s worst mass murder.

Web
www.portarthur.org.au
Costs
Bronze Pass (½ day) $28/$23/$14
Silver Pass (1 day) $66/$61/$48
Gold Pass (2 days) $98/$93/$76
After dark (inc meal) $57
Isle of the Dead Tour $12/$8
Getting there
1.5hr drive from Hobart following the Convict Trail Route along the Tasman and Arthur Highways.
Tassie Link bus service runs regularly from Hobart.

2. OLD GUM TREE, SA
This is site of Governor Hindmarsh’s Proclamation of South Australia on 28 December 1836. Originally believed to be a red gum, the tree died (not surprisingly) a long time ago. A concrete replacement was constructed in 1963. With increasingly rigid water restrictions in South Australia fauna sculptures might be the future of gardening.

Not worth the trip alone, thankfully Glenelg offers many other sites of interest and a lot of shopping. It is worth the joining the self-guided Proclamation Trail and Discovery Trail from Mosley Square.

Web
http://glenelgsa.com.au/proclamation
Costs
Free
Getting there
Drive from Adelaide CBD along Sir Donald Bradman Drive, turning left onto Military Road following the signs to Glenelg shopping precinct.
Catch the tram from King William Street in the city to Mosley Square

3. ST PHILLIPS MONUMENT, NSW
This memorial marks the site of Australia’s first church, which was also Australia’s first school. The Anglican church was built and paid for by the Reverend Richard Johnson in 1793. The original building was burned down only five years later being rebuilt on another site. The third reincarnation of St Phillips now stands on York Street at the Rocks.

For the average traveller, unlike a true historian or religious scholar, the monument does not likely warrant a special trip. However if in the area it is worth stopping for a few minutes taking a photo or two and reading the inscription

Web
www.yorkstreetanglican.com
Cost
Free
Getting there
Located at the corner of Hunter and Bligh Streets, just a quick walk from Martin Place Railway Station or the City Centre Monorail Station
It is just off Pitt St in the heart of Sydney CBD

4. BOTANY BAY, NSW
Botany Bay is the birthplace of modern Australia. For Australia’s Indigenous communities it might alternatively be seen as the beginning of the death of their Australia. The First Fleet landed in Botany Bay in 1788 marking the beginning of European settlement. This means that the first people to make up the general public were convicts, their guards or government officials.

Now the bay is a National Park, divided into two halves. The southern section, Kurnell is where Captain Cook landed, the northern section La Purouse is where the French arrived just days after the First Fleet. Fishing is permitted, with a licence. Botany Bay is a great place for snorkelling and scuba diving and whale watching – best vantage point is Cape Solander. Do not expect much more than a plaque to mark this significant place in Australia’s history.

Web
www.botanybay.nsw.gov.au
Cost
Free
Getting there
To Kurnell, take the prices Highway veering left onto Rocky Point Road then left onto Captain Cook Drive
Buses are available to La Perouse trains service Cronulla Beach, near Kurnell

5. USS PEARY MEMORIAL, NT
Northern Australia suffered bombing raids from February 1942 to November 1943, during WWII. The biggest attack occurred over Darwin during the initial attack. USS Peary stationed in the harbour is one of 8 ships sunk during this raid. The salvaged gun from USS Peary now stands as a memorial on the cliffs of Darwin Esplanade and points towards the location of the scuttled ship.

Further remnants of the bombing are also on display in the hangar in Parap behind Sir Ross Smith Ave and is a museum operated by the motor Vehicles Enthusiasts Club.
Cost
Free
Getting there
Take Bus 6 from Darwin Interchange

6. CAPTAIN COOK’S COTTAGE, VIC
This is Captain Cook’s family home. Not that he is likely to have ever lived in it as records show it was most probably owned by his parents while he was off sailing and then “discovering” Australia. The cottage was shipped from Yorkshire England and rebuilt in Melbourne in 1934 to mark the centenary of the founding of Melbourne. Not that Cook was directly responsible for the founding of Melbourne in fact he died some 55 years prior.

Despite the irrelevance of its current location and the fact that it has been rebuilt so many times throughout its history that it is unlikely to contain any of the original building materials it is a great reminder of Australia’s colonial history.

The cottage contains a number of displays of Captain Cook’s life

Web
www.cookscottage.com.au
Cost
Entry $4.50/$2.70/$2.20
Tours from $4.15/$3.30
Getting there
Tram 48 or 75 from Flinders Street Station or the free City Circle Tram will get you to the “Treasury” stop and it is just a quick stroll through the gardens from there.

7. BRADMAN MUSEUM, NSW
Sir Donald Bradman is arguably the best cricketer in history and unquestionably the best batsman ever with a career test batting average of 99.94.The museum, in his childhood hometown of Bowral pays tribute to the life and career of this Australian sporting icon.

The museum contains over 8000 pieces including clothing and equipment worn and used by Sir Bradman during his illustrious career as well as photographs, scorecards awards and memorabilia from both Bradman’s career as well as world cricket in general.

The museum is located adjacent the Bradman Oval, where The Don first played cricket and where his ashes along with those of his late wife Lady Jessie Bradman were scattered and opposite the Bradman family home.

Web
www.bradman.com.au
Cost
Entry $15/$10/$6
Getting there
Located roughly halfway between Canberra and Sydney along the Hume Highway. In Bowral all signs point to the Bradman precinct.

8. MELBOURNE CROCKET GROUND, VIC
www.mcg.org.au
The Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG) is a venue unparalleled in sports history in Australia, if not the world. It hosted the first Olympic Games to be held in the Southern Hemisphere (1956) and the first ever international cricket test match (1876).

The MCG has played host to countless VFL and AFL (Aussie Rules Football) matches and grand finals and was recently the main stadium for the 2006 Commonwealth Games.

The National Sports Museum is now located at the MCG

Web
www.mcg.org.au
Cost
MCG Tour $20/$16/10
NSM Entry $15/$11/$8
MCG &NSM $30/$23/$15
Getting there
10 minute walk along the banks of the Yarra River from Federation Square
Trams 75 and 48 stop at Jolimont Station then walk across Yarra Park
Any train going to either Jolimont or Richmond Stations
Enter the MCG through Gate 3

9. OLD PARLIAMENT HOUSE, ACT
Opening in 1927, this building was only ever intended to be temporary with a life of 50 years. Like so many government promises the timeframes blew out and what was temporary start to appear permanent. The new Parliament finally opened 61years exactly (11 years late) after the original building.

One of the most famous events to take place in Old parliament House, and on its steps was the dismissal of the Whitlam Government in 1975. Now open to the public, tours will explain the history, operation and some of the secrets of the House.

Web
www.moadoph.gov.au
Cost
Entry $2/$1
Getting there
Action bus routes 2, 3, 6 or 934

10. KATA TJUTA NATIONAL PARK, NT
The most obvious feature of this National Park is Uluru (formerly Ayers Rock), which is the world’s largest monolith. Although open for climbing the indigenous Elders, traditional owners of the land ask visitors to respect their culture and not do so. With a height of 346m (95 storeys) the rock can be a strenuous climb with at least 35 people dieing in their attempt.

Instead of climbing, visit the cultural centre or join in a guided walk. Visitors can learn about the cultural importance of the site and view some of Australia’s most treasured rock paintings depicting the historic life and environment of the area. The walk around the base of Uluru is 10.6km a shorter 2km walk is also available.

It is worth spending a day in the park to witness of the stunning beauty of the rock change colour from a bright orange through to a deep blue/purple as the light changes throughout the day from sunrise – sunset. It is also spectacular during a storm. Accommodation options are available.

Web
www.environment.gov.au/parks/uluru
Costs
Park Entry $25
Walking Tour Free
Camel Tour $99
Getting there
Located 440km south west of Alice Springs it is easiest to join a bus tour from there.
Driving from Alice Springs travel south along the Stuart Highway then right onto Lasseter Highway and keep driving
From Adelaide travel north along Part Wakefield Road which onto Eyre Highway which will become the Stuart Highway just outside of Post Augusta, drive and drive and drive then turn left onto Lasseter Highway and drive some more
Flights are available from most capital cities to Connellan Airport, just outside the park and then hire a car (prior booking recommended)